The last page
by ForGoodnessSake
Summary: After finally closing the case of the murder of Johanna Beckett, Kate and Castle plan to celebrate. Little did they know her mother's murder wouldn't be the only chapter Kate Beckett closed that day. Warning: Major character death.


**The last page**

Kate had often dreamt of getting her life back after bringing her mother's killer to justice. That had been the initial plan, after all. She would become a detective, solve her mother's case, and finally make peace with what happened. It had always sounded easy enough at the start of it all.

But life was never easy. She had gotten lost in that case, had tripped and fallen down that metaphorical rabbit hole, and it had taken her 3 years, 5 people's support, and a near death experience due to reckless behaviour to climb back out again. After that she swore to never even think about that file again.

All in all she had done a fine job at putting it behind her. Over the years it was always eating away at her, as she suspected it would for the rest of her life, but as long as it didn't interfere with her work she figured she could handle it. And she did. For over five years she managed to live her life without the need to solve her mother's murder dictating her every move.

Until Richard Castle came into her life.

Richard Castle. The man who had helped her through the first few months after her mother's murder. Richard Castle, The man who had seen right through her without even knowing her for more than a few days. Richard Castle, the man who had wanted her to go back to one of the darkest times of her life, despite her telling him over and over to leave it be.

Kate had hated him. Even before he tried to reopen her mother's case she had disliked him, and when he told her she had almost been grateful for now having an excuse to get rid of him.

But then he had managed to somehow charm his way back into her life, and it turned out he had been right. There _were_ new leads, with more to follow. And all the while he stayed right by her side, ready to catch her if she fell down that rabbit hole again.

This time she managed to keep herself from losing herself completely, something she took pride in. It did, however, still take her 3 years, 5 people's support, and a near death experience due to reckless behaviour to figure out that bringing her mother's killer to justice wasn't her priority anymore.

Being happy was.

And she was, for a while. For a while she was loved, and happier than she had been in years. Though she never put her work on hold completely, she took better care of herself, and put more effort in preventing herself from getting in too deep. Because unlike the times before, this time she had a lot more to lose than just herself.

The night before they finally closed that case for good, Kate had asked Rick to tell her a story to calm her nerves. She would realize her mistake only later.

He happily obliged, telling her the story of a brave young woman, who would soon close the biggest chapter in her life. The end was a happily ever after, like that in a fairy tale, with the extraordinary woman and her ruggedly handsome prince living happily ever after. Always.

That night Kate Beckett fell asleep dreaming of a future that would never be. Because life wasn't a fairy tale. And happy endings only exist in children's books.

Still she had expected it to be something more than what she got. A man who thought up extravagant stories for a living, a man who had changed her life as much as Richard Castle had, deserved as much.

It was all so anticlimactic in the end. He was right by her side when Bracken was arrested, right by her side at the final showdown, and right by her side when they left to go home and celebrate the end of the road. He only ever left her side when it was all over, when everything he would deem 'exciting' was done.

He only left her side when they ran into a mugger when they took a shortcut on their way back home. He only left her side when Kate's gun was spotted and the mugger panicked. Kate had expected him to leave her at some point during the evening, she just had expected him to come back as well.

He didn't go out with a bang, as she had so often expected him to, reckless idiot that he was. He didn't go out with a whimper either, allowing her those few more precious seconds to say goodbye. If you were to ask Kate Beckett, she'd tell you it was more of a 'pop', like a bubble suddenly bursting.

One moment there had been noise, loud and vibrant, like there had been ever since he entered her life, and the next there was silence. In the blink of an eye everything changed, and none of that seemed right to Kate Beckett.

The case itself was open and shut, which only added to the dissatisfaction. There was no years long with hunt to be held, no rabbit hole to fall down and lose herself in. There was just an empty apartment, a third keepsake, and an overwhelming silence.

How she managed to carry on, when she managed it, or even if she managed it, she wasn't quite sure. She only remembered bits of everything. She remembered tears, of course, and his family after hearing the news.

She remembered there being a funeral, and her placing the last Nikki Heat manuscript on the casket. The biggest chapter had been finished, but the last page was empty. She had deemed it fitting.

The silence had drowned out much of everything else. It was a stark contrast to the life she would have had, the life with vibrant noise and bright smiles. Instead, like Nikki's story, the last page of her life consisted of nothing but ever present silence.

Always.

_A/N: Because I foolishly bribe friends into finishing their essays with fic. I don't think this is exactly the kind of fic they wanted me to write though…_


End file.
